The life of the Single Parent
The word marriage conjures up images of a happy couple dressed for their wedding day under a shower of rice. They each have separate expectations of what their life together will hold, these may include raising a family. After some time, you may experience the most unexpected thing and become single again. This time you have a few children to raise on your own.
The Downside to Being a Single Parent
The strain of divorce or the death of a spouse places a great burden on families. The remaining parent now has to wonder how they can manage on their own. The children are equally stressed. They experience a level of sadness from losing one of their parents. They also see the remaining parent is strained, trying to earn a living, maintain the home and bear any and all of the burden from raising a family.
This is the time to understand that the best that you can do is good enough. No one expects you to become immortal. Providing your children with a stable environment filled with love should be your focus. They need to know that when their world has changed, that they are still loved and that they can depend on you.
The Anger of Divorce and its Affect on the Children
Don’t say negative things about your ex in front of the children, no matter how bad the divorce may have been. Do your best to spin a positive angle on the situation to instill a sense of security in your children’s mind. Make sure they know that they are loved and everything will be fine. Let them know that the absent parent loves them too.
Anger will only make the situation worse for your children. It will cause you to bottle up pain as well. Try to approach your new life as a single parent as a new adventure. Think of the happy possibilities facing you and try to let go of the past.
If you can try to provide a sense of normalcy and security by surrounding your kids with familiar relatives. Grandparents often offer this kind of support. It is good to let them see all four grandparents, this includes your former spouses family. This may be very difficult on you, depending on the situation. However, after the child has lost one parent to death or divorce, keeping them away from other close connections can add to the misery.
Your kids need your love most of all. The fact that the love will now only come from one parent is irrelevant. You will always have love to give to your children, you can never run out of this magical elixir.
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